nauseous feelings and pick-a-date asking.

Pick-a-dates... the bane of my existence. Asking? HATE IT!

First pick-a-date was just a long day. 12 hours, 2 pick-a-dates, same guy. It would have been fine if it had not been the beginning of the year and we were not still getting to know each other.

Pick-a-date #2: I was miserable because of the day that it was on. I did not want to go in the first place, but my friends FORCED me to ask a friend of mine. My date: great. The experience: not very pleasant (which was my own fault).

Pick-a-date #3 (quick pick): I did not even ask him. I had a friend of mine ask him for me. Luckily, he said yes. We had a great time. Now, we never see each other and because of that, we never talk.

Pick-a-date #4: Experience pending...

My final pick-a-date of the year is just around the corner now. May 7th to be exact. Murder mystery pick-a-date. 80's Homecoming themed! :]

Asking: I hate asking guys on pick-a-dates. I always feel extremely awkward whenever I ask someone or even think about asking someone for that matter... It should not be scary. I should not have a queasy feeling in my stomach every time I walk to a place where I know the person I am asking will be... but, I do.

Praise God I am done asking people on pick-a-dates for this year! My latest asking experience had a twist...

"The pact": A friend and I proposed the idea of a pact for this pick-a-date. The pact was that if I asked the guy I was planning on asking, then my friend, Becky,  had to ask the guy she kind of wanted to ask, and vice versa.

The pact might have been a bad idea. It was created at 1 AM with a pinkie promise... But, nevertheless, we went through with "THE PACT."

But, for this to work, there had to be an incentive: FREE coffee for the person who asked her guy first. I was determined to win. I had it all figured out. I knew I was going to see the guy I was going to ask before Becky would see the guy she was going to ask. I was going to win. For sure!

One problem: the butterflies that turned into eagles in my stomach which caused this constant queasy feeling in my stomach for 4 days!

Monday: Haiti family dinner. Perfect opportunity to ask! Walked back to my dorm with the guy I was going to ask. I talked about the weather in Michigan. Lame? Yup. Pretty much.

Tuesday: No opportunity... Becky asked her guy at dinner! I lost... I bought her Starbucks later that night...

Wednesday: Awkward encounters all day... No good opportunity until...

The SIFE event in the Union! Perfect chance. What is better than ice cream, awesome music, free shirts, and the perfect opportunity to ask someone on a pick-a-date in a non-awkward way? NOTHING! :]

I was talking to a friend of mine who was working the event when he was taking creeper photos of me and some other people from just across the room. A intense glare was given as I made my way across the room to make small talk... I mean ask him on my pick-a-date.

"I have a question for you... May 7th... Would you like to go on a pick-a-date with me?"

Could that sentence be any more awkward??? At least I had started the conversation out non-awkwardly.

"What day is that?"

...

"I should be able to go. Let me check my schedule and get back to you."

The day back from Easter break (6 days later): Awkward encounter at our Haiti meeting. No answer.

No answer? What did I do? Did he forget?

Yes, I was being a girl and definitely overthinking everything.

The next night at our Haiti team share session in the Union: Nothing.

After the share session: "[insert his name here]"

"Yea, the pick-a-date?" He remembered. "Is it May 9th?" I shake my head. "The 8th?"

"No... The 7th."

"Oh. Okay. Yea, I can go."

Really? Why did I have to wait a week for that, bro?

Me: Oh... I failed to mention that it is a murder mystery pick-a-date last week... And the theme is 80's Homecoming.

Yea. I am great with asking on pick-a-dates. At least I have a date.

Murder. Homecoming. Powder blue suits. Poofy sleeved dresses. Sequins. Big, teased hair. All of my favorite things in one place... :]



So... Pick-a-date #4 of my first year of college: BRING IT ON!

procrastination at its finest.

I sat in the library tonight. I hate the library. I just needed a change of scenery. I actually sat in the library, then the Union, and then back in the library. Now, I am on my bed, trying to focus on a book review I need to write by sometime tomorrow for Christian Book Previews.



This week has already been a long week, so it is hard to focus. On Saturday night I went over to English after the Barlow Girl concert on campus to hang out with some of the girls from my Haiti team (I. Love. Them!).



We ended up talking for a couple hours and watched this weird horror movie from 1992. The things you can find on Netflix these days... (Especially the movies with 1 star)... After the movie we talked some more, until I realized how late it was. I got back to Olson at 4 AM and was in bed by 4:30 AM.

Then Sunday was crazy too. I had a lot of things to take care of. I ended up going to the Union for a couple of hours and then went back to my room after close to finish up the rest of my homework (that needed to be done) and did not slip under my covers until 3:30 AM... and I did not go to bed until 4 AM...

Now, I am running on minimal sleep, since I had an 8 AM class this morning. I have coffee in me like an iv these days. I am very ready to be going home Thursday afternoon.

I am excited to have this book review done! Only a few more paragraphs and some last minute editing before I send it off to Dr. Hensley.

I will write a longer update about my life soon... Hopefully over Easter break, when I actually have the time (if I actually have time)...

One final thing... A list of 7 random things from this past week:

1. I am switching to Verizon this summer :[ Which means goodbye to my loving Blackjack II, and hello to my new Blackberry.

2. I wiped out on my bike last Monday. I'm gonna have a pretty sweet scar on my elbow. I just wish it didn't hurt all the time from the bruising... And my left ring finger is messed up. I'm still not sure if I jammed it of fractured it. I'm assuming I just jammed it, but I'm not sure yet.

3. I had dinner tonight with my Haiti team!!! :] I love them all very much!

4. I went to the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale this weekend when I went home with Becky.

5. I am the proud owner of Peter and Madeline, my precious herbs (thyme), which sit on my window sill as I write this.



6. I made a pact with Becky regarding our next Pick-a-Date (the murder mystery PAD!!!)... And there is a reward system. I must win!

7. I have had (probably) around 12 cups of coffee within the last 48 hours. I need to sleep...

G'night!

open mind, questions running amuck.

Wish: that coffee could refresh me (for more than 2 hours) the way sleep does, or that I could get more sleep...

(source: unknown)

Today I embarked on a new adventure. In my mailbox today (I love getting mail!) sat a purple little sheet of paper with the word “package” stamped on it. I eagerly rushed the slip to the girl working the front desk and waited patiently as she found my package among the pile. As I climbed the stairs back up to my room, I ripped open the package. Out popped Love Wins, Rob Bell’s new book that came out in mid-March. I have been waiting two weeks now to read this book.

When I was in Haiti, one of my leaders brought his new copy of the book and many of my team members ended up reading it (and were talking about it all week). Many of the points in the book seem to be controversial and my team was sure to discuss them in detail. After hearing the conversations that came from the book, I wanted to read it. If anything, I figured it would strengthen my beliefs and open my eyes to some new ideas.

Now, after chapter one, I am keeping an open mind and I have some questions. They are questions I have thought about before, but have never let occupy my mind for too long. I am hoping to have some conversations with people about this book which will help me in my faith and understanding. I am also looking forward to Easter Break so I can take it home for my dad to read so we can then discuss it as well.

 

Tonight I went to the Recital Hall for a talk on Interfaith Dialogue. I am interested in the topic, so any way for me to learn more can only be beneficial.

Through conversations and opportunities here at school, I have seen my faith grow a lot this past year. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I have people here who care about me and my entire being, including my spiritual growth. Through my trip to Haiti, I have learned much about myself. I have learned my limits emotionally and physically, and I have learned what it means to rest in God completely. I have gained new friends along the way and have made memories that will last a lifetime. I am blessed. I cannot say it enough!

(source: unknown)

Also, I have lived on the edge a little bit today. :] I went on a midnight bike ride with a dear friend. What would college be like without a little spontaneity? Sounds like a crazy question coming from me. Am I ever spontaneous? Barely...

Anyways, I love bike rides. And going on them at midnight makes them all the more fun and adventurous.

So, here’s to a wonderful month of March, new friends, old friends, Skype dates, bike rides, beautiful sunsets, long boards and Frisbees, Haitian coffee and mammoth spiders, and here’s to spring and all that it may bring this 2011!

beautiful rest.

God is amazing!

I have been very blessed these past few weeks to experience what I have. Even though I am still processing life and what I experienced, I am happy to have found rest in the wings of my Creator.

God has blessed me with amazing people in my life, time to rest with them, and in His presence. I have spent today at church and then in my room jamming to some good music, Skyping with my family, and thinking about life. I feel completely rested (which is not normal these days…). I know God is working in my heart… the part I didn’t leave in Haiti… I am very blessed to know my Creator and my King and be able to worship Him freely. I am comforted to know that He knows me by name and in Him I can find rest. So when the crap of life surrounds me, I can take refuge in His unending peace.

Romans 8:18-21: ¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

John 16:33: (in Creole) “Mwen pale konsa pou nou kapab gen kè poze nan mwen. Nou gen pou n’ soufri anpil sou latè. Men, pran kouraj, lemonn deja pèdi devan mwen.”

(in English) “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -Jesus

The LORD is good! :]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gbrqW0eJmE&feature=related

processing life.

Today is day 5 of being back at Taylor. I am still trying to process life after Haiti. It's crazy. I feel like I'm not supposed to be back in such a wonderful place that holds so many blessings. For one, it is far too cold here. 36 degrees? In Haiti that would be Celsius, but in Indiana that is Fahrenheit... Secondly, the only place I find comfort is in front of the new science center. The rubble and dirt and tools remind me of the work site in Haiti.

I think I left half of my heart in Haiti. With Beanice...

With all the unity of my team:

 

It is weird being back in the States... Still. I just want to be in Haiti, with my team, doing work with the Haitian people. It just does not feel right to be back, going to school, living in very good conditions.

I miss my mosquito net bed and the food there...

I have a ton of things left to process about the trip, and I still don't have the time. My heart is broken for these people, and all I want to do is be back with them in their country...

("Breakable" -Ingrid Michaelson)