Princess of...

Quote love: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Listening to: “And Run” by He Is We

Princess. Crowns. Royalty. Weddings of the royal sort. William. Kate. Mia?

One of my favorite movies is The Princess Diaries. I am not sure what has always intrigued me, but I have a feeling it is the similarities I have found between the main character, Mia, and myself.

I grew up loving two movies in particular. Motocrossed, a Disney Channel Original Movie in which Andrea Carson takes her injured brother, Andrew’s, place in a motocross competition that was seen as a sport for guys (I am such a nerd for still loving this movie. It is super cheesy and I know every line and what is going to happen before it happens, but I still love it. My roommate, the doll that she is, got me this movie just because this past year because I was never able to get it on DVD.) The other movie was The Princess Diaries.

Mia Thermopolis grew up thinking she was just an ordinary girl with hopes and dreams but a huge uncertainty as to how she was going to achieve them. She “wasn’t pretty enough” for her crush, Josh, to like her. That was until she, and everyone else, found out she was a princess. Unfortunately, people wanted to be friends with Mia because of her status as Princess and heir to the Genovian throne.

No, I am not close to being royalty, but I do understand the meek Mia. She had a lack of confidence in herself and her own ability. She did not realize what she was capable of doing in the world. With the help of her grandmother and the voice of her father, she was able to realize her full potential and become Princess of Genovia because of this new strength and confidence in herself.

Many times I find myself in situations where I am afraid of what will happen because of the lack of confidence I have in myself. I forget the most important part of me: I have the Holy Spirit LIVING inside of me!

Why, then, should I be worried about anything? Why am I concerned about saying the right things? I have the Holy Spirit guiding me. I have asked Him for guidance, and though it is not easy to give up the reigns of my life, I have done so because I know that by the strength of the Holy Spirit I will be able to accomplish much more for God’s glory.

"It’s a wango?”

This life is not about me. This life is about what I can do for God and how I can serve His people!

“The Spirit is meant to lead us toward holiness. The Spirit is here with us to accomplish God’s purposes, not ours” (Forgotten God by Francis Chan pg. 93).

Whether I waltz or tango through this life, God can use me and I am confident that His plan can include both a waltz and a tango from me. If I live by His Spirit I am here to accomplish His plans for my life.

Take the life God has given you and live it to the fullest with the guidance of the Spirit. Serve with confidence that is not of you or me, but of God! Let’s wango through this life by the confidence of God!

creepy crawlies, names & last looks.

Listening to: “Electric Feel” - MGMT

The Little Things I love: Coffee dates that last hours. Catching up with old friends. Looking at journals and planners at Barnes & Noble. Dried roses with stories behind how I got them. Making my own jewelry and headbands. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup packs of 8 for ONE dollar. The summer sun. Filling up journals with memories and pictures.

Spider Kill Count of Summer 2011: Six... Seven, if you include the one I killed on my second to last day at school... at 3 AM... the one that was sitting next to me on my couch! UGH!

I hate spiders. I have been home for two weeks now and I have seen and killed (or have had my daddy kill) SIX spiders. SIX!!! 3 banana spiders, and 3 really creepy, big ones... Black furry ones with white stripes. I have no idea who let them into my house, but it wasn’t me! I do not appreciate their presence in my home.

(Note: my finger was on the inside... icky spider was on the outside.)

The one above is next to my pointer finger... it is about a centimeter and a half long! GROSS! I cannot handle spiders. I mean, the spiders in Haiti were bad. I had enough spider encounters in Haiti to last me the rest of the year. I think spiders are attracted to the people who hate them. One of the guys on my Haiti team, who hated spiders, and I had plenty of spider encounters while everyone else on our team never had to deal with them. Why us?

I mean, seriously? These bugs like those who hate them. They are like cats.

I strongly dislike cats. Most cats are selfish little brats, and I do not appreciate their sour attitudes.

Anyways, cats know the people that are allergic to them and don’t like them. They scout those people out like it’s their job. They rub their bodies against your leg as if saying “Love me!” and yet I am able to resist. Because they are rude. They are mean. They only think of their own interests. I hate cats.

And for the same reason, I hate spiders. They know the people who are afraid of them. They seek out those who are afraid of them and surprise him or her only to leave the victim peeing his or her pants, or running and screaming in fear (or doing “the spider dance,” as my friends call the jumping up and down while screaming that I do when I see a spider any bigger than half of my pinky nail).

Okay. Enough talking about spiders... Freaky little creatures...

Names.

Before college, I would hardly ever answer to my name except if it was a teacher. Everyone, including my parents, called me “Di.” I love my nickname. It can be comical at times. It never gets old hearing someone yell “Di” down a hallway and see everyone turn and look at the person trying to get my attention.

For the past year, it has been weird. People would introduce me to new people as Diana and I wouldn’t correct them because it is my name, it’s just something I’m not used to.

Now to most people (minus a few friends who I am very close to) I am Diana. I kind of wish more people called me “Di,” but I guess it is okay that they don’t since once I get into the real world I will be Diana forever.

I’ve never had anything against my name. I’ve always liked my name actually.

There is just something different about people looking you in the eye, and saying, “Hi [insert your name here]” and proceeding to ask you how you are sincerely, all the while maintaining eye contact. I don’t think I have loved my name as much as I have this past semester. I don’t think I have heard anyone say my name so genuinely in my entire life. It’s a beautiful thing. To hear your name spoken by someone who cares about you with the utmost sincerity.

College degrees and not enough financial aid. That is how I lose people in my life these days. Luckily, I have not had to say goodbye to too many people this year. Most of them will be back at Taylor next year, leaving me nothing to worry about. But there have been a few. One from one of my newest and closest friends at Taylor. I know she isn’t coming back next year and it’s really hard to imagine life at Taylor without her craziness all the time. Parting ways with her in the DC was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I know I have an okay chance of seeing her this summer, but what if I don’t? What if we never actually see each other again in person for the rest of our lives? It’s hard. The uncertainty...

I’ve acquired a few last looks in my life. Most of them have been from friends on my first missions trip. I remember parting from each of them. Saying goodbye with hugs and tears as they made their way to their terminals to their flights. To be frank: Goodbyes suck. And they really suck when they involve last looks.

Well, all sadness aside...

Here’s to a fun filled summer. One with plenty of spider dances, star gazing, coffee dates, and hopefully a job for the girl who wants to continue to go to school in the cornfields of Indiana. :]

“‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles.’” -1 Chronicles 32:7-8

a girl who reads.

Date A Girl Who Reads 

by Rosemarie Urquico

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

A girl who reads is probably a girl who writes . . . a lot. How else do writers get inspiration? I mean, there is much in life to get inspiration from, but there is a whole new world in books. How else do writers take a break and get lost in something other than their work. They read. Well . . . I do.

I have hated not being able to read books for pleasure this year. I am glad I got some pretty good books for book reviews, but I am also glad to have the summer to allow myself to be wrapped up in a good book, drinking plenty of coffee, and blocking out the rest of the world.

Summer Reading List:

*A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers

*Paperdoll by Natalie Lloyd

*When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy

*[The controversial] Love Wins by Rob Bell

*The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling

And if I have time...

*Maybe Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights again. :]

scrapes and bruises, splints and bikes... and an ER trip to finish it off.

“...in a dizzy kinda sorta way, like vertigo...” -Jump 5 -> "Spinnin' Around"

Listening to: “Only Fooling Myself” – Kate Voegele

Taylathon.

Of course, one of the things on my Taylor bucket list and I am already forbidden to do it. I blame my klutziness and my bike accident for the strict "NO!" from my friends about a possible future in any Taylathon.

(Some of my Haiti team who rode in Taylathon)

Luckily, my injuries are fading. I no longer have to wear the splint (pictured above). The ligaments between my knuckles which were damaged from my fall are doing a lot better. Obviously, since I am not wearing my splint any longer. The scab on my elbow is now a deep scar and the skin is still slightly tender to the touch.

Okay, so my love for biking just won't be translated into riding in Taylathon... ever.

Last week and a day ago at this time, I was freaking out about my pick-a-date, and another important thing: the dizziness that was attacking my head.

Wednesday May 4, 2011: I woke up tired. Then I went to my 8 AM Biblical Literature 2 (New Testament) class. I then took the trek across campus to the Dining Commons for breakfast. I ate breakfast with some of the 3WO girls and then walked to chapel with them. I got to chapel, set down my bag, stood to sing, and felt extremely dizzy. The dizziness would not go away no matter what I did. The health center gave me two options: dehydration, which was impossible because I had been drinking SO much water that day just to make sure the dizziness was not a result of dehydration, or VERTIGO, benign paroxysmal vertigo to be exact.

The dizziness was the kind of dizziness you get before you black out. Yea. Imagine that going on constantly for a week.

What was supposed to go away in a matter of two days consumed my life making me unable to function properly. The dizzy feeling left me drained constantly from my brain trying to keep everything still and unmoving. I slept, ate, and went to the health center. 3 trips to the health center in one week for something that seemed to have no reason or cause for its occurrence.

On Friday, the nurse practitioner at the health center highly suggested that I go to the ER to get a CT scan just to make sure that nothing was neurologically wrong with me.

So, with my lovely PA by my side, I made my way to the ER to be a patient in a hospital for the first time since my birth.

I was able to stay quite calm throughout the entire experience. Well... all except the IV... I hate them. I hate needles. I hate, hate, hate them. And now I have a red dot , and a cluster of brownish/purplish/green bruises which now mar my skin. Praise God that the Valium and fluids helped... for a night. Unfortunately, they wore off half way through the pick-a-date...

The pick-a-date was the best one I have been on all year, but like the rest it had its issues. This one only had one issue, and this time it wasn't the boy. This time around, it was my vertigo.

Half way through the evening, my dizziness came back pretty bad causing me to have to sit down for the rest of the night. I was talking to my friend, Tiehl, when I became very dizzy. I stopped talking and tried to steady myself. About that time, my date came over to me and asked me if I was okay, with his eyes wider than I have ever seen them before. I struggled as I lied and said I was fine and a little reluctantly allowed him to help me to a chair which he pulled out for me. The wide eyes stayed put for a few minutes as he asked me if there was anything he could do for me and if I was okay... and if I was going to be okay. I was blessed to have a date as understanding as I did and to have someone who cared as much as him about my health and well being.

Luckily, the vertigo was gone by Wednesday. I woke up Wednesday morning to peace of mind... literally! No spinning, no tired brain. It was fabulous.

As I write this I can only think about the finals I should be studying for. This next week is going to be painful as my roommate leaves Tuesday afternoon, I have finals all of this week, and then I have to go home and try to find a summer job because I have had no luck thus far...

Raindrops and tears, struggles and pain, dreams and ambitions, goodbyes and hellos: one week... one more week...

nauseous feelings and pick-a-date asking.

Pick-a-dates... the bane of my existence. Asking? HATE IT!

First pick-a-date was just a long day. 12 hours, 2 pick-a-dates, same guy. It would have been fine if it had not been the beginning of the year and we were not still getting to know each other.

Pick-a-date #2: I was miserable because of the day that it was on. I did not want to go in the first place, but my friends FORCED me to ask a friend of mine. My date: great. The experience: not very pleasant (which was my own fault).

Pick-a-date #3 (quick pick): I did not even ask him. I had a friend of mine ask him for me. Luckily, he said yes. We had a great time. Now, we never see each other and because of that, we never talk.

Pick-a-date #4: Experience pending...

My final pick-a-date of the year is just around the corner now. May 7th to be exact. Murder mystery pick-a-date. 80's Homecoming themed! :]

Asking: I hate asking guys on pick-a-dates. I always feel extremely awkward whenever I ask someone or even think about asking someone for that matter... It should not be scary. I should not have a queasy feeling in my stomach every time I walk to a place where I know the person I am asking will be... but, I do.

Praise God I am done asking people on pick-a-dates for this year! My latest asking experience had a twist...

"The pact": A friend and I proposed the idea of a pact for this pick-a-date. The pact was that if I asked the guy I was planning on asking, then my friend, Becky,  had to ask the guy she kind of wanted to ask, and vice versa.

The pact might have been a bad idea. It was created at 1 AM with a pinkie promise... But, nevertheless, we went through with "THE PACT."

But, for this to work, there had to be an incentive: FREE coffee for the person who asked her guy first. I was determined to win. I had it all figured out. I knew I was going to see the guy I was going to ask before Becky would see the guy she was going to ask. I was going to win. For sure!

One problem: the butterflies that turned into eagles in my stomach which caused this constant queasy feeling in my stomach for 4 days!

Monday: Haiti family dinner. Perfect opportunity to ask! Walked back to my dorm with the guy I was going to ask. I talked about the weather in Michigan. Lame? Yup. Pretty much.

Tuesday: No opportunity... Becky asked her guy at dinner! I lost... I bought her Starbucks later that night...

Wednesday: Awkward encounters all day... No good opportunity until...

The SIFE event in the Union! Perfect chance. What is better than ice cream, awesome music, free shirts, and the perfect opportunity to ask someone on a pick-a-date in a non-awkward way? NOTHING! :]

I was talking to a friend of mine who was working the event when he was taking creeper photos of me and some other people from just across the room. A intense glare was given as I made my way across the room to make small talk... I mean ask him on my pick-a-date.

"I have a question for you... May 7th... Would you like to go on a pick-a-date with me?"

Could that sentence be any more awkward??? At least I had started the conversation out non-awkwardly.

"What day is that?"

...

"I should be able to go. Let me check my schedule and get back to you."

The day back from Easter break (6 days later): Awkward encounter at our Haiti meeting. No answer.

No answer? What did I do? Did he forget?

Yes, I was being a girl and definitely overthinking everything.

The next night at our Haiti team share session in the Union: Nothing.

After the share session: "[insert his name here]"

"Yea, the pick-a-date?" He remembered. "Is it May 9th?" I shake my head. "The 8th?"

"No... The 7th."

"Oh. Okay. Yea, I can go."

Really? Why did I have to wait a week for that, bro?

Me: Oh... I failed to mention that it is a murder mystery pick-a-date last week... And the theme is 80's Homecoming.

Yea. I am great with asking on pick-a-dates. At least I have a date.

Murder. Homecoming. Powder blue suits. Poofy sleeved dresses. Sequins. Big, teased hair. All of my favorite things in one place... :]



So... Pick-a-date #4 of my first year of college: BRING IT ON!

procrastination at its finest.

I sat in the library tonight. I hate the library. I just needed a change of scenery. I actually sat in the library, then the Union, and then back in the library. Now, I am on my bed, trying to focus on a book review I need to write by sometime tomorrow for Christian Book Previews.



This week has already been a long week, so it is hard to focus. On Saturday night I went over to English after the Barlow Girl concert on campus to hang out with some of the girls from my Haiti team (I. Love. Them!).



We ended up talking for a couple hours and watched this weird horror movie from 1992. The things you can find on Netflix these days... (Especially the movies with 1 star)... After the movie we talked some more, until I realized how late it was. I got back to Olson at 4 AM and was in bed by 4:30 AM.

Then Sunday was crazy too. I had a lot of things to take care of. I ended up going to the Union for a couple of hours and then went back to my room after close to finish up the rest of my homework (that needed to be done) and did not slip under my covers until 3:30 AM... and I did not go to bed until 4 AM...

Now, I am running on minimal sleep, since I had an 8 AM class this morning. I have coffee in me like an iv these days. I am very ready to be going home Thursday afternoon.

I am excited to have this book review done! Only a few more paragraphs and some last minute editing before I send it off to Dr. Hensley.

I will write a longer update about my life soon... Hopefully over Easter break, when I actually have the time (if I actually have time)...

One final thing... A list of 7 random things from this past week:

1. I am switching to Verizon this summer :[ Which means goodbye to my loving Blackjack II, and hello to my new Blackberry.

2. I wiped out on my bike last Monday. I'm gonna have a pretty sweet scar on my elbow. I just wish it didn't hurt all the time from the bruising... And my left ring finger is messed up. I'm still not sure if I jammed it of fractured it. I'm assuming I just jammed it, but I'm not sure yet.

3. I had dinner tonight with my Haiti team!!! :] I love them all very much!

4. I went to the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale this weekend when I went home with Becky.

5. I am the proud owner of Peter and Madeline, my precious herbs (thyme), which sit on my window sill as I write this.



6. I made a pact with Becky regarding our next Pick-a-Date (the murder mystery PAD!!!)... And there is a reward system. I must win!

7. I have had (probably) around 12 cups of coffee within the last 48 hours. I need to sleep...

G'night!

open mind, questions running amuck.

Wish: that coffee could refresh me (for more than 2 hours) the way sleep does, or that I could get more sleep...

(source: unknown)

Today I embarked on a new adventure. In my mailbox today (I love getting mail!) sat a purple little sheet of paper with the word “package” stamped on it. I eagerly rushed the slip to the girl working the front desk and waited patiently as she found my package among the pile. As I climbed the stairs back up to my room, I ripped open the package. Out popped Love Wins, Rob Bell’s new book that came out in mid-March. I have been waiting two weeks now to read this book.

When I was in Haiti, one of my leaders brought his new copy of the book and many of my team members ended up reading it (and were talking about it all week). Many of the points in the book seem to be controversial and my team was sure to discuss them in detail. After hearing the conversations that came from the book, I wanted to read it. If anything, I figured it would strengthen my beliefs and open my eyes to some new ideas.

Now, after chapter one, I am keeping an open mind and I have some questions. They are questions I have thought about before, but have never let occupy my mind for too long. I am hoping to have some conversations with people about this book which will help me in my faith and understanding. I am also looking forward to Easter Break so I can take it home for my dad to read so we can then discuss it as well.

 

Tonight I went to the Recital Hall for a talk on Interfaith Dialogue. I am interested in the topic, so any way for me to learn more can only be beneficial.

Through conversations and opportunities here at school, I have seen my faith grow a lot this past year. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I have people here who care about me and my entire being, including my spiritual growth. Through my trip to Haiti, I have learned much about myself. I have learned my limits emotionally and physically, and I have learned what it means to rest in God completely. I have gained new friends along the way and have made memories that will last a lifetime. I am blessed. I cannot say it enough!

(source: unknown)

Also, I have lived on the edge a little bit today. :] I went on a midnight bike ride with a dear friend. What would college be like without a little spontaneity? Sounds like a crazy question coming from me. Am I ever spontaneous? Barely...

Anyways, I love bike rides. And going on them at midnight makes them all the more fun and adventurous.

So, here’s to a wonderful month of March, new friends, old friends, Skype dates, bike rides, beautiful sunsets, long boards and Frisbees, Haitian coffee and mammoth spiders, and here’s to spring and all that it may bring this 2011!